13 Head Coaches in 22 years.
Since 2002, there have been 120 head coaching hires in the NFL
The Raiders have had 13 of them.
That means the Raiders have accounted for over 10% of the NFL head coaching hires in the past 20 years despite being in a league with 31 other teams.
Holy fucking shit what have I done with my life.
The jokes write themselves. The Raiders have had more coaches than AB has brain cells. The Raiders have had more coaches than Jon Gruden has recorded slurs. The Raiders have had more coaches than Mark Davis has had pube grafting hair follicle surgery.
But the Dark times are finally over. For the first time in my entire fandom, I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel. For the first time since I donned the silver and black as a mere babe in the woods, I can look at that shield with a sense of pride, honor, and machismo.
First, it was Tom Brady.
Then it was Spytek.
Now it’s Pete.
What do those three gentlemen have in common? They’re winners. And they willingly decided to put on the silver and black. The same silver and black that has been the dumpster fire of the NFL for my whole existence. The same silver and black that drafted Jamarcus Russell over Megatron, Robert Gallery over Larry Fitz, and Fabian Washington over Aaron Rogers. IN THREE CONSECUTIVE YEARS. There are so many more bad picks I’d rather not look back on.
I’m getting carried away here, the point of this blog isn’t to look into the past. It’s to predict the future.
Done are the Raiders of the old. No longer are we the laughingstock of the NFL. A new era is upon us. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, the raiders are coming to pillage your land and steal your treasure. If this was a different time, THE RAIDERS WOULD INVADE YOUR FAVELLA ON HORSEBACK… nvrm I’m getting carried away again.
I mean seriously. The best games of my childhood was David versus Goliath, the Legion of Boom versus the GOAT. Now, the architect of the LOB and the GOAT himself are rocking the same shield I have so faithfully cherished through thick and thin. It’s like if Captain America and Thanos teamed up to take out the rest of The Avengers.
To anyone out there calling this Ben Johnson cope, I would like to present this piece of evidence:
I take zero responsibility for saying “Meet Harbough in the Superbowl” I know Pete and that JABRONI are gonna meet twice a year. I made that after a long day of work and a CBG gummy. I was watching too many Seattle San Fran highlights. I’m not sorry.
But I will take all of the credit for willing Pete to Vegas into existence. Unfortunately, my quant guy is on vacation but I would only assume the Raiders never would’ve gone this direction we’re it not for my social media engineering.
I plan on writing more about the Raiders and sports this year to juice the portfolio a little bit. I’m working on figuring out a way to recode the email list so that subscribers can opt-in and out of specific categories. For example, if you want to read my art content but don’t care about my sports takes, you’ll be able to do that soon! That’s why I turned off emails for this blog. So stay tuned for that update.
Consider this sports fans. This is the last time to hop on the Raiders bandwagon. The pirate ship is sailing. Either pack your bags or go home. See you in Canton.
